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Money and stress are usually happy bedfellows. In this article, we will discuss ways to alleviate the financial woes that you may be going through during your divorce, regardless of your financial situation. What is the answer to reducing financial stress during your divorce?
The Power Of Now
Let us begin with an issue that is most important. Money is a highly taboo and emotive topic in society. We still find it difficult to openly discuss it. It is regarded as rude or disrespectful to ask a person how much they earn. Taboo topics often also bring about a degree of shame. This is the perfect time to release this shame and allow it to disappear so that it loses power.
When it comes to your financial situation, it is likely that you may have a few hang-ups when it comes to money. If you are finding it difficult to pay your bills every month you may feel shameful that you are living below the breadline. If you are just getting by, then you may feel shameful about how you spend your money. And when you are wealthy, then your situation is probably complicated. You might feel shame because you are not aware of the different implications that may come into play.
It is really important to find ways to let these feelings of shame go. Whatever has happened up until this point is now in your past. You cannot change it. Yes, there might have been a few situations where you should have made a wiser choice, or found out more about your current situation. But it is a waste of your time to spend your energy agonizing over that.
You should rather focus on spending your energy and time facing up to what you need to deal with now.
Take An Audit
Money is one of those classic topics for ostrich behavior. This is especially true when things are a bit tight. Have you been ignoring all those bills that are sitting in your letterbox?
Now is the ideal opportunity to extract your head from the sand. I know it can feel scary and daunting. But, I can promise you, things will start making more sense when you start facing these bills.
Finances may seem complicated. But, with everything else in your life, the main step to making any progress is to break it down into workable steps. It is unlikely that you will be able to tackle everything at the same time, but once you start to look at your numbers, you will gain a clearer idea of where to start.
Take the time to consider what you do know and do not know when it comes to your current financial situation. What is your current bank balance? Are you aware of the accounts that are under your name, or the ones that you share with your partner? What type of debts are under your name? DO you need to sell your house fast?
It is okay if you do not know the answer to everything right now. Finding out what you were not aware of is one of the best places to start. The steps to follow involve figuring out all the gaps so that you work out the puzzle of your financial situation. And you may need a bit of assistance in this regard.
A personal financial planner may assist you with asking the correct questions and how to start planning a more secure future.
If your wealth situation is complicated, and you believe that your spouse is not being completely upfront and honest about your joint finances, it may be worth your while to hire an asset tracer. This is a professional that you can use to track down undisclosed or hidden assets.
If you have debts and you have to find a solution to make sure your money works for you over the weeks or months to follow, you can also use the services of a free organization like Step Change.
Use Your Stress Energy
Stress is not inherently bad. It is a physiological response that prepares us to take action. So the solution to not being able to sleep at night is to use your stress to take action. Face your problems head-on by taking the necessary steps to start dealing with them.
Most people get into a bad habit of stating that they are “no good with money”. Yet, this is usually not true. Money management involves skill, which means it is not a talent or a virtue. This means it is something that anyone can learn. Kids can start learning about it while they are still in school, by allowing them to assist you with shopping for groceries, for example.
The initial step in this process is to come to grips realistically with your situation, which includes recognizing gaps that you may have when it comes to your knowledge. The steps that follow include filling these gaps. The third step is to make well-informed decisions according to what you now know.
You shouldn’t feel shame just because you don’t have a complete understanding when it comes to the world of finances. Whether this involves business frameworks, tax, or benefits systems. Just like there should be no shame when it comes to not understanding another language, or changing a tire. It is basically things you can learn when you need or want to.
So change your stress and worry mode to a curious mode. What can you learn about when it comes to your finances? What options is your current wealth situation giving you? Is there anything you can do with the money you have right now?
Once you start looking at your financial situation in a realistic way the more control you will have over the situation. You will also find that you are a lot more resourceful and innovative than you may think. Even when you are struggling with your money and things appear dire. When you take control, you will start looking for opportunities and answers and unwind rather than worrying about the what-ifs.
You Are Not Your Finances
You are far more than what you earn. If you are feeling shameful about not having enough money, I urge you to stop. You are very worthy of respect and love regardless of what type of debt you are carrying. And if you have shame about having a lot of money because you feel like you do not deserve it, you must understand that it is not your money that makes you.
Gaining an accurate idea of your finances and your knowledge of it is important in divorce. But make sure you have separated your self-worth when it comes to this equation. Stand pride as a powerful and resourceful person. Also, understand that you will be able to tackle what your divorce is about to bring into your life.
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